Classic Gyn Patients, aka what am I getting myself into

Hmmm...so life as a 4th year really is this side of paradise, even moreso than 3rd year. Currently i'm working like a dog- this next week is 13 hour *nights* from Sunday to Sunday...there are not enough yikes for this next week! But, when I come home in the early morning hours, i'm no longer expected to study, or plan bogus presentations that no one will ever ask me to present, or really do anything. Plus I get to do fun stuff at work...most of the time. So I'm going into the field of obstetrics and gynecology and right now I'm at my second of three away rotations. We have had some classic (and I mean classic) patients this week. My resident is too kind hearted to ever say anything about them, but I think I must write about them so I can remember them in the future.

1. "C-word problems"
I absolutely hate the c-word- hate it hate it hate it to the point that I will not talk to a guy if they ever use that word in my company. But you cannot really do the same when your patient uses the word. The 'c word' is a very vulgar term for a womans vagina, and that's all i will say. So this patient was a 30 y/o with some dryness in her c-word. She says, "I go to my regular doctor and try to tell him, but he says, 'Aleshia, you know I don't deal with those problems. You know who deals with that- your gynecologist. So stop talkin to me about those problems.' Hilarious! I have a feeling he too was tired of her using the c-word.

2. 60y/o w/ Herpes sans outbreaks
This poor lady, I diagnosed her with Hepatitis just by watching her; classic features: large belly, paper skin, thin hair, skinny legs w/ large belly, spider telangectasias, even palmar erythema (that sealed the deal.) She says, " Is that unusual to have hepatatis for 20 years and never have any problems?" I urged her to check back with her primary care doctor about her hepatitis which was clearly eating away at her liver. She either had a really bad doctor or was in sick denial... She came to us b/c of suspected herpes outbreak...it was not herpes at all...How do you think you have herpes despite never having had an outbreak? Yikes people!

3. "You took what out? My uterus?!?!"
This story is one I would not actually believe unless I had been there to witness this myself. The patient was a Hispanic lady in her late 40's early 50's at the clinic with her husband for her SECOND f/u appt after her recent hysterectomy. Dr. G says, "You know you will not be having any more periods." The patient looks bewildered, looks at her husband, then back at the doctor and then asks what organ they took out. She was honestly shocked to find out that 1. her uterus was taken out during her hysterectomy and 2. that she would no longer have periods! Seriously! On her second f/u visit! Needless to mention, a psych consult was already in the works.

I love this field, but it definitely brings out the crazies!